When you have a severe fear of losing control, you may become perfectionistic, rigid, emotionally inhibited, and critical of yourself and others.
This is a coping style that is characterized by excessive concern about inhibiting your emotional expressions and behaviors. Having an overcontrol personality trait is different from being ‘controlling’ it concerns self-control and does not necessarily mean you want to control other people. He is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn’t yet lived.” In this article, I will address overcontrol from multiple perspectives- from cognitive psychology, Schema, Jungian Theory, to personality typologies such as MBTI and the Enneagram. Sometimes it is a function that helps you do well in the world, but to its extreme, being over-controlled is not sustainable and causes you to feel increasingly alone and unfulfilled in life. Overcontrol and severe fear of losing control is caused by a combination of bio-temperament (nature), upbringing (nurture), and cultural and systemic factors (nurture). Wanting to have some control is human, but a severe fear of losing control can be detrimental to mental health. It turns out research has indicated that the relationship between self-control tendencies and mental health falls on a bell curve- too much or too little self-control is not conducive to wellbeing (Lynch, Hempel & Dunkley 2015). However, there is indeed something as too much of a good thing. We do need rules and people who respect them for our society to function and flourish and being conscientious and discipline are definitely virtues. Our schools, workplace, institutions all celebrate the qualities of order, diligence, discipline, performance, and compliance. Most of the time, our society encourages us, either explicitly or inadvertently, to be self-controlled and disciplined. Is there a huge discrepancy between how you see yourself and how others see you?ĭo you censor yourself and other people’s behavior with high moral standards?ĭo you tend to minimize your distress and be ‘stoic’ about everything? Would you sacrifice pleasure and fun just to meet your own standards?ĭo you feel you deserve to be punished when you get something wrong? Is your life governed by rigid rules you impose on yourself?ĭo you find situations without order and structure challenging?ĭo you always notice what is out of line and feel compelled to fix it?ĭo you find it hard to trust people, and it takes a long time for someone to get to know you?ĭo you find it embarrassing to be vulnerable in front of others?ĭo you always feel you must be in control of your impulses?ĭo you find it difficult to be spontaneous and act without a plan?ĭo you have difficulties expressing or even feeling anger?
This fear causes you to become ‘overcontrolled,’ which is a trait related to disorders such as long-term depression, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, social anxiety, and restrictive eating.Īre you almost always dissatisfied with your own work and performance?ĭo you spend an excessive amount of time trying to get things’ right’?Īre you generally risk-averse and hyper-vigilant? When you have a severe fear of being out of control, you may be perfectionistic, driven, rigid, critical of yourself and others. Overcontrol is a personality trait that comes from a fear of losing control. My Words To You Who Fear Losing Control: It Is Not All On YouĪre you Sensitive on the Inside and Tough on the Outside?.Corrective Experience and Relational Healing.What Can Be Done with the Fear of Losing Control?.Flipping From Being Undercontrol to Being Overcontrol, and Vice Versa.Systemic Factors that contribute to the Fear of Losing Control.Excessive Focus on Achievement and Performance.Neglectful Parenting and a Lonely Childhood.Experience in your Family of Origin- ‘Nurture’ Factors.Causes of Overcontrol and the Fear of Losing Control.Overcontrol and Fear of Losing Control Form a Buddhist Psychology Perspective.Overcontrol Tendencies From a Jungian Psychology Perspective.Overcontrol and The Big Five Personality Model.Overcontrol and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).Are you Sensitive on the Inside and Tough on the Outside?.
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